The State Of The Union Drinking Game To Help You Through The Night

President Donald Trump is set to deliver his first State Of The Union address on Tuesday. Pair that with a drinking game, and there may be no better test of your mettle.

As we’ve seen over the course of the last year, Trump is a bit of an, uh, unconventional president, so there’s a chance he gives an unconventional address. And that certainly makes creating a State of the Union drinking game more interesting. But we’re up to the challenge if you are.

Here’s the game we put together for the 2018 State of the Union. Have fun, but just remember, it’s a school night.

Take a sip if Trump says “Russia” or “China.”

Take a swig if Trump praises Putin.

Take a shot if Trump says something in Russian.

Finish the bottle if Putin is actually in the audience.

Take a sip if Trump says “fake news” or “collusion.”

Take a swig if Trump says “witch hunt.”

Take a shot if Trump names specific news outlets.

Finish the bottle if there is a person wearing a witch costume in the audience. (Start a new bottle if it’s CNN’s Jake Tapper.)

Paul Zimmerman via Getty Images
Honestly, Tapper could probably rock a witch’s hat.

Take a sip if Trump claims things are “going great.”

Take a swig if Trump claims credit for something great he had nothing to do with.

Take a shot if Trump claims credit for something that hasn’t even happened, or that happened prior to his presidency.

Finish the bottle if President Obama interrupts the State Of The Union broadcast with his own pirate feed to deliver an alternate speech.

Scott Olson via Getty Images
Oh hi, Obama.

Take a sip if Trump mentions the Democrats.

Take a swig if, at any point, Democrats stand to applaud.

Take a shot if Trump speaks kindly of Democrats.

Finish the bottle if Trump creates a new nickname for any Democrat during the speech. (e.g., “Dicky Durbin”)

Take a sip if House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) jumps to applaud before Vice President Mike Pence does.

Take a swig if Ryan or Pence points to someone in the crowd.

Take a shot if Ryan or Pence leans over and whispers something to make the other laugh.

Finish the bottle Pence and Ryan shed their human forms to reveal they’ve been Reptilians all along. 

Bloomberg via Getty Images
It’s unclear who started applauding first in this photo.

Take a sip if Trump singles out someone in the crowd.

Take a swig if Trump singles out someone, and that person reacts like they wish he hadn’t.

Take a shot if that person is in his own family.

Finish the bottle if that person is Melania.

Alex Wong via Getty Images
Oh hi, Melania.

Take a sip if applause ever goes longer than five seconds.

Take a swig if applause ever goes longer than 10 seconds.

Take a shot if applause ever goes longer than one minute.

Finish the bottle if applause ever goes longer than five minutes.

Take a sip if you see someone sitting quietly while others are applauding.

Take a swig if you see someone shaking their head. 

Take a shot if a protestor gets into the hall, or if someone is heard shouting something at the president.

Finish the bottle if Trump refers to the protestor with some variation of “Get ’em outta here!” or “Rough ’em up a little.”

The Washington Post via Getty Images
We really hope Trump doesn’t call for anyone getting roughed up, though.

Take a sip if Trump goes obviously off script. 

Take a swig if Trump makes “wise guy” type gestures with his hands. 

Take a shot if Trump says something that sounds genuinely presidential. (Everyone playing the game must agree for this one to count.)

Finish the bottle if Trump gets through the speech without telling a single lie.

Jonathan Ernst / Reuters

Take a sip if Trump mentions the last election.

Take a swig if Trump mentions or alludes to Hillary Clinton.

Take a shot if Trump says “Crooked Hillary.”

Finish the bottle Trump brings out the 2016 electoral map, or if the camera settles on an audience member who’s not paying attention, but rather staring off into the distance, daydreaming of a world that might have been… 

Good luck! And remember to drink responsibly!

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